


Long Distance: Character-by-Character

by windsandxenon



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Communication, Gaming, M/M, MMORPG, Neurodiversity, communication problems, neurodiversity and relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 02:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10426806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsandxenon/pseuds/windsandxenon
Summary: These chapters are intended to flesh out these characters. If and when I publish the actual fic here, I may include chapters from here and change things around, or keep the chapter. Getting ahead of myself here, but the final work will be published in full, so you don't have to worry about switching back and forth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I tried depicting Yuuri with pd's (AvPD and BPD), and Viktor with neurodevelopmental disorders, as that's my headcanons for these two for the time being. This may change by the time the actual fic comes around, if it ever does, but I wanted to see what people thought of this!
> 
> Content warnings:  
> \- emetophobia mention cw

Yuuri had been gaming for as long as he could remember. Not that one should ask him; while skating was something he actively could recall, naming jumps and spins and penalties while judging for Yuuko as she judged for him, video games left him in sort of a trance. It was rare that he would be stuck in his room for hours without food or water, but it was a hard-to-break, when-did-the-sun-go-down or its-morning-already? kind of trance that had no mercy for Yuuri’s personal life. If he woke up in the mood to game, well, he’d just have to play whatever he fancied until his mind was satisfied.

 

The more significant a game was to him, though, he could remember more about it. Which character he liked best, when he started playing. Especially this game, an MMORPG about ice skating.

 

At first, while it had piqued Yuuri’s interest, he was skeptical. This was something he hadn’t seen before and he wondered why and how it even made it into stores in the first place. The stock of the game in stores multiplied quickly over the weeks of grocery shopping Yuuri did and, succumbing to the invisible peer pressure, Yuuri purchased the game.

 

It didn’t take long to log in, the designs weren’t marvelous, and the only thing Yuuri could boast about at this point was the brilliant diversity in character design. You could also choose whether or not you wanted to be able to skate.

 

It also didn’t take long to figure out that this was a fighting MMORPG, and the theme just happened to be ice.

 

Yuuri quickly made friends – without a face or a voice to have to respond to, he found ease in being openly friendly towards others. Then he met him.

 

There were various roleplay sites where you could roleplay as your OC’s with others, as the game mechanics sometimes didn’t allow for extensive chatting. Occasionally, an enemy player would sneak up and ambush a conversation (one time Yuuri saw someone with a crossbow and got so jealous they had achieved that item he ended up respawning) so players eventually migrated their longer conversations to other websites, Discord being one of them.

 

Yuuri, bored, logged on. Whenever he didn’t particularly have much to do, he liked to talk to people online. It was nearly a daily ritual now, and there wasn’t much reason not to get his fill today. Usually the chat was fairly bustling, mostly with people he didn’t know. However, today only one other seemed to be online. Yuuri hesitated for five minutes before saying hello.

 

**surelyonice:**

_Hello! I don’t think we’ve met?_

**v_nikiforov:**

_not at all_

_im viktor_

 

**v_nikiforov:**

_and your name is?_

 

**v_nikiforov:**

_okay you don’t have to say_

_what should i call you?_

****

**surelyonice:**

_Eros is fine!_

 

Yuuri embarrassedly glanced away from his screen; Yuuri had complained to Yuuko once that he never felt like he was cool or attractive in school and it had been affecting all parts of his skating persona. Yuuko immediately reasoned that he should create a persona in practice and see what he felt comfortable with. Yuuri agreed with this because he had a bad habit of mistaking jealousy for envy.

 

**v_nikiforov:**

_cool name_

_so actually i wanted to ask you a question_

 

**surelyonice:**

_Uh?_

 

**v_nikiforov:**

_so you swing that claymore around and i keep wondering if you actually know how you’re supposed to be using it_

_the game mechanics will allow you to dance and spin and i think that if you’re going to use something that allows such beautiful technique and grace then you should take advantage of that_

_if you chose such a specific and expensive weapon like that then_

_well i thought you would want to know how to use it the way you should use it_

_so_

 

**surelyonice:**

_Wait, excuse me?_

 

**v_nikiforov:**

_so you swing that claymore around and i keep wondering if you actually know how you’re supposed to be using it_

 

**surelyonice:**

_No, I don’t mean repeat it._

_Why are you criticizing me like that, how I play the game is literally none of your business._

_I don’t even know you???_

 

**v_nikiforov:**

_wait no that’s not what i meant_

_also i've researched on my own already i don’t need you to do that_

_i was just confused_

 

Just confused? Yuuri leaned back in his chair, fairly upset now. He was just having fun playing a game and someone with their nose in the air wanted to criticize something that was none of their business? In the back of Yuuri’s mind he knew this wasn’t so important but without anyone around on this lazy day to reinforce otherwise Yuuri grew more and more upset. He logged off Discord and logged onto the game, determined to have fun.

 

Eros looked up at Yuuri from the screen, decked out in his usual silver-and-blue, form-fitting armor. Yuuri wasn’t sure how this alluring outfit was physically possible (but Yuuko giving it a thumbs-up was good enough for Yuuri). He deigned it unnecessary to change his OC’s clothing and logged onto the game.

 

He made his character walk towards one of the competition arenas, and waited for the game to process his request to start a group competition. Since Yuuri didn’t know many people he generally played against strangers, finding it a little satisfying to boast victory to himself over random people. He supposed once it helped boost him back up after he fell on the ice so many times.

 

Another character among his three opponents stood out. In trying and partially successfully clipping into the shadows at the edge of the arena, but clearly seeing the avatar flinch and flick between walking for one second in various directions, he was more conspicuous than the other two standing in the light.

 

Yuuri skipped through the instructions and Eros drew his claymore, bending his knees as he got ready to speed out of the way of the other two avatar’s weapons. Yuuri still couldn’t see what the avatar in the corner was doing.

 

The bright numbers on the screen flashed one and as soon as he could move, Eros pushed off on his left skate towards the edge of the arena. Yuuri could hear the gritty versions of the sound of metal clashing angrily as his avatar faced away from them. The sound only sounded like two swords, though, and Yuuri idly wondered what the third player was doing when-

 

His heart felt like it skipped a beat as a large, gaudy, bright magenta fur cape flashed into his view. Knowing what to do (both in the game and out, Yuuri actually tilted his waist and hips in his seat), Yuuri quickly spin Eros away. The enemy player’s avatar quickly stood up straighter (as quickly as a pixelated person could stand up in skates), a sign that the other player had stopped using their controls.

 

The two avatars stared at each other, Yuuri waiting for their next move, when the other avatar finally did something. It was a classic cheer, one that avatars tended to do when they walked into the seats in one of the arenas.

 

Yuuri kept staying out of the other player’s way but noticed he was a beat later than he usually was every time. First it was the shock from the supportive cheer from the other player, then the fact that despite not being able to decipher his moves the avatar was still able to swiftly follow and nearly land attacks on him after every dodge, and the fact that the avatar was wearing such gaudy, ugly clothing. Yuuri usually quietly judged everyone else for their choice in avatar (and even often hated his) but never had he seen anything as distractingly abhorrent as this.

 

He managed to stay out of the way of the avatar through the entire timed round, and earned enough points from dodging to beat the other two players who stayed out of their way. The avatar who tracked him around the arena, though, got even more points for attacking and the stylish, quick-footed way in which they did so, landing them a substantial few points ahead of Yuuri and in first place.

 

About to log off and complain idly about this, a message popped up via the post-competition chat log.

 

 **v_nikiforov:**   _Hey! Great game!_

 

Yuuri didn’t know what he was exactly thinking at that moment but obeyed the increasingly panicked feeling that he should just save and turn off everything MMORPG-related immediately, and that he should immediately call Yuuko.

 

\---

 

He called Yuuko two hours and five minutes later, after forcing himself to.

 

The slightly gravelly voice – the coverage in Hasetsu was terrible in-between winter and spring – answered after two rings.

 

“Hi, Yuuri!” Yuuko piped up cheerfully, “What’s up?”

 

“Someone is pissing me off,” Yuuri replied, immediately noticing the undertones of anger in his voice. At least, he thought.

 

“Here? Wait, I can totally help,” Yuuko replied. Either she didn’t notice the anger or chose to ignore it. “Is that okay?”

 

“It’s online, and stuff.”

 

“I can still help!” Yuuko repeated, “Hey, I can come over if you want, that’ll let me look at the chat logs.”

 

A long, hesitant, panicked, watery silence droned on, followed by “Yes, and I can let you in wherever you need.” Yuuri knew Yuuko nodded because of the scritch-scratch of her hair against the receiver, and then Yuuko _mwah_ ed to him and hung up. Yuuri let his phone drop onto his duvet and curled up painfully with his back perpendicular to the crevice between the wall and his bed.

 

Why today? Lessons at Hasetsu Ice Castle were in full swing right now, so he couldn’t distract himself. He didn’t have practice, or any candid substitute teaching to do right now. He had taken off the beginning of the professional skating season to finish college and there was no point in doing anything immediate as of now (despite his pleas, his coach didn’t want him working for the next season this early, claiming that he trusted Yuuri and that Yuuri was tired out. Despite how drained and sad Yuuri often felt when he plopped down in bed in his apartment far, far away, Yuuri had protested profusely.)

 

Yuuri slapped his own cheeks enough to leave the lightest sting. Lessons were in full swing, he had nothing skating-related to do anywhere else, and he had had a terrible week. He wasn’t used to not doing anything, relative to the rigor of his skating practice far, far away. Today was a day free from chores and obligations and Yuuri had tried to hold onto that relative happiness and then-

 

Yuuri heard the front door shut closed a little bit too hard, and a sharp exhaling sound of meek regret. Yuuko.

 

Yuuri’s eyes were trained on his door until it slid open, revealing Yuuko, slightly out of breath, hair effortlessly piled upon her head, exercise clothes matching. Yuuri felt himself light up.

 

“Yuuko!” he said, voice bright despite cracking.

 

Yuuko smiled, still panting from her run. She slit the door shut and semi-carefully stepped around the pillows strewn about Yuuri’s floor to stand a foot away from his bed.

 

“Hey, Yuuri!” Yuuko said, still grinning, “It’s good to see you!” She paused, waiting for Yuuri’s continued genuine grin, then continued, “So where’s the douche?”

 

Yuuri slid over to his computer seat again (he panicked momentarily after sitting down but his offering of his seat to Yuuko was politely rejected, with a comforting pat on the top of his chair she knew he felt) and logged back into the game. He scrolled through the chat logs and explained the game to her.

 

“And this, this is his outfit,” Yuuri clicked on **v_nikiforov** in his battle history and they both waited for the page to load. The player’s avatar came up, magenta fur cape and slender, long legs dressed in black tights and gold blades on their skates and all. Yuuri could have puked in his mouth.

 

However, there was a loud coo of awe from Yuuko.

 

“No, no no no,” Yuuri responded immediately.

 

“Sorry,” Yuuko said sheepishly.

 

There was silence. Guilty silence.

 

“Oh, well, they look so handsome!” she admitted, “All that weight and their character is still strong despite it. Look at their stats! They beefed them up perf-really well.”

 

“Just because they know the game mechanics it doesn’t make them a good person.”

 

“Yes! What they said was still kind of rude,” Yuuko agreed, “But, Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri looked back at her.

 

“Don’t you think that, erm, well, they were a little curious too?” Yuuko offered, “I mean, they said it rudely, and they definitely hurt your feelings, but if anything I think they were trying to understand how you were playing. You yourself mentioned that most of the people playing the game were pretty generic as a whole.”

 

Yuuri turned away, hating that he was being compared to someone he was still upset at. However, through the pain, he saw that Yuuko had a point – perhaps this wasn’t a troll or someone looking to bully the first person they came across, but actually took an interest in Yuuri and ended up insulting him as a first impression. They were strangers to each other, too, so it wouldn’t make sense that they would know what and what not to say to Yuuri.

 

Yuuri sighed heavily, lamenting that someone that he barely knew had to tip-toe around him to get Yuuri to be amicable.

 

“I guess I can see why they’re not a total asshole,” Yuuri agreed. Yuuko smiled and starting piling up pillows next to Yuuri.

 

“Hopefully if you two ever talk again you can get off on the right foot! Now, can you show me how you play the game?”

 

\---

 

Yuuri couldn’t sleep at night. He had been thinking for …some hours about how Yuuko had not only deceived but also betrayed him. Also about v_nikiforov's friend request they sent him about thirty minutes before he went to bed but that was another worry-cry for another day.

 

He called her, struggled to call her, fought to call her, to help him out, help attain glory and a feeling of success from grinding this player into the dirt. Instead, she came over and tried to make Yuuri see their side of the deal?

 

Yuuri grew more upset at this, which he had been growing upset about every single time he came back to that realization. He tossed and turned, trying to find a better position, and ended up tossing himself onto his back again.

 

At first, he had the idea to text Phichit. It was late. So late. However, Phichit stayed up late on weekends, and Yuuri remembered that while he was still in school, Phichit was on break.

 

So, after the various hours of self-destructive thoughts and repetitive thinking and near-crocodile tears, Yuuri texted Phichit before he could think about it.

 

**Yuuri**

_Hi_

 

**Phichit**

_oh hey whats up_

_you ok?_

 

**Yuuri**

_I’m angry_

 

**Phichit**

_im all ears_

 

So Yuuri told him.

 

**Phichit**

_im sorry_

_that sounds like a difficult scenario and i hope youre able to work through it soon_

 

**Yuuri**

_I just feel like Yuuko backstabbed me_

 

**Phichit**

_can i like_

_say my thoughts_

 

Yuuri almost didn’t want to hear anyone else’s thoughts, but his fingers typed “ _Sure_ ” before he could thoughtfully decline.

 

**Phichit**

_so like maybe talk to him again_

_you have a free weekend right_

 

**Yuuri**

_I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow_

_Today_

_Whatever_

 

**Phichit**

_but would you have time to be like “ok im gonna talk to this person” and then talk to him_

 

**Yuuri**

_I guess_

 

**Phichit**

_ok well if youre upset (which im not arguing) but still confused, and Yuuko, which you like, both of you care for each other, is all like, maybe it was a misunderstanding, then like_

_im saying you dont have to like this person but maybe a confirmation of his douchebaggery is in order_

 

**Yuuri**

_Okay but why can’t I just hate him_

_You always tell me to ignore people_

 

**Phichit**

_can i be so blunt_

 

 **Yuuri**  
_Fine_

 

**Phichit**

_because you do have done this and its been fine externally but it distracts you and i would like to offer, for just one try, talking to this person again_

_and i say now that if you end up liking each other then that doesnt mean they didnt hurt you before_

_so yeah usually i'd be all like "it's chill pls don't actively talk to this person blah blah"_

_fuckin. wait the hamsters_

 

Yuuri waited.

 

**Phichit**

_just that ive seen you worry about this before and i would like you to feel well and better_

_and this person doesn't seem like they'll let up_

_so even if you're like "that hurt my feelings also i don't want to be friends" then youll be like Okay that was cool ill move on with my life_

 

**Yuuri**

_Okay well no promises_

 

**Phichit**

_no promises at all_

_you never have to take my advice dude_

 

 **Yuuri**  
_Okay_

_Thanks for talking to me_

_I hope you’re doing okay_

 

**Phichit**

_im so tired_

_not because of you, promise_

_just todays been long_

_ill tell you when i have energy i feel like you might be amused by some parts_

 

**Yuuri**

_I would like that_

 

**Phichit**

_goodnight yuuri_

 

**Yuuri**

_Good night, Phichit_

 

\---

 

**[PM Initiated]**

 

**surelyonice**

_Hey_

 

**v_nikiforov**

_oh it’s you!_

 

Yuuri almost finished the “What the fuck does that mean?” that swam through his mind, but intended instead to continue. Phichit had silently sent him a Google Doc of conversation tips (the two of them had agreed this was okay years ago) and Yuuri had silently thanked him.

 

**surelyonice**

_I felt like we got off on the wrong foot_

_Also last time we talked at each other I got upset_

**v_nikiforov**

_it was kind of a mess_

 

**surelyonice**

_Yes_

_So…_

_I wanted to talk again_

_Because being nice to strangers and stuff_

**v_nikiforov**

_oh okay_

 

**surelyonice**

_“oh okay”?_

 

**v_nikiforov**

_uhh_

Some time passed.

 

**v_nikiforov**

_i guess i meant i want us to know each other instead of being strangers 2kforever_

Some more time passed.

 

**surelyonice**

_Oh_

_Last time we talked I thought you were trying to insult me_

**v_nikiforov**

_oh my god no no no n_

_i was just curious_

_wow im sorry_

**surelyonice**

_No its fine_

Meanwhile, v_nikiforov’s – he couldn’t remember if he knew his name - avatar was spinning slowly on the screen Yuuri had open to the side. He had been glaring at it before but as the conversation rolled on (he had to keep reminding himself of Yuuko and Phichit’s words) he suddenly liked the way it looked. The large, way-too-bright cape was still large and bright but he could see why they would choose that cape for their avatar’s broad shoulders, and admired how the night black tights contrasted nicely with the rest of their costume, and how the idle smirking expression was more so playful rather than belittling from behind the curtain of silver hair.

 

**v_nikiforov**

_look i'll send you a picture of myself and everything_

 

**surelyonice**

_Literally why_

_!_

**v_nikiforov**

_Because being nice to strangers and stuff_

_!_

 

Yuuri panicked, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want this, he felt like he had pressured v_nikiforov somehow, he wanted to tell him how it was really all fine, but a fairly quality image came through before Yuuri could even touch his keyboard with conviction.

 

It was a fairly clear image, with the most graceful, slender, and soft face Yuuri had ever seen.

 

Yuuko saying the word “perfect” and Phichit’s “end up liking each other” accompanied Yuuri suddenly being aware of his beating heart. So this person’s avatar wasn’t such a far stretch from the actual person. It wasn’t so much gaudy as the person themselves and their bright, bright hair. If not for the bright light being partially blocked by the shades in the background Yuuri would not have been able to see the top of v_nikiforov’s head in the image.

 

They had a soft, but strained and practiced smile. Their eyes crinkled – either with worry or happiness – at the edges.

 

The feeling of warmth, however, was soon overtaken by panic again. Was he expected to send a picture back? This person seemed nice enough, it doesn’t seem like they wanted to trade photos.

 

**surelyonice**

_What are your pronouns?_

 

**v_nikiforov**

_he him his_

_wow i can’t believe i didn’t tell you with my name_

**surelyonice**

_Uh_

 

**v_nikiforov**

_it’s Viktor!_

 

Right. And okay, that staved off the decision for maybe five seconds.

 

Yuuri, heart throbbing in his chest, took a very awkward selfie and sent it.

 

**v_nikiforov**

_wow_

 

**surelyonice**

_Sorry, it’s a terrible picture_

 

**v_nikiforov**

_you have a cute nose_

_unfair_

_hey we should video chat_

 

**surelyonice**

_Right now??_

 

**v_nikiforov**

_no im not ready_

_but sometime_

_youre cute and i like your personality_

_your avatar’s really cool_

_too_

 

Oh. Yuuri felt incredibly guilty as the truth of Yuuko and Phichit’s perceptions rang through his mind again. Trying to expel the increasingly overwhelming emotion somehow, Yuuri decided to respond with snark.

 

**surelyonice**

_Sounds like a date_


End file.
